I love Psalm 119. It simply speaks to my heart and when I need to pray; the right prayer seems to be hidden in this long Psalm. It is a process as I start to go through it because I find my self stopping to reflect on it and praying out loud some verses that speak to my spirit.
The past few weeks have been a struggle for me and I pray and cry throughout the day. I know that God has this wonderful plan for me and I know that He is working on a wonderful ministry for me and my family. The only question I have of Him is about my current job and assignment. You see, I see them as two separate things. When I moved, I knew the move was orchestrated by God. So, I also knew that the assignment He had for me was on the job or had something to do with the people on the job.
I had this conversation with God and tried my best not to take the job, because I couldn't see the assignment at that time. I just saw a company with what I "felt" like had a lot of issues and couldn't understand why I needed to be in the middle of all that. My life has always been this ride full of ups and downs, but looking back they were all for my testimony and God's glory. So, I would say, "God, I don't want to work there. There are too many problems". God would say, "That is why I want you there". That answer never occurred to me, because I was looking for the fleshly fulfillment and not the God assignment in the job. What I found after trying fervently to not take the job is that God wanted me here and I conceded graciously. What I later found was JOY from the assignment every day almost. So, I knew He would help me with the job as long as I was obedient to the assignments spoken into my spirit from day to day.
With the recent changes or realignment at work -- since February 2010 -- I am struggling with the job and can't seem to see an assignment. I think I am missing it and am praying about it daily. I don't enjoy the job anymore and I keep reminding God of that and He keeps saying "wait on my Word" for the next assignment. I am waiting and like most all humans, not doing a good job of it. I keep letting the natural frustrations of the change (which I call Satan's sifting -Luke 22:31-32) get in the way of my spiritual walk through the proverbial fires, trials and distractions of life. When this happens and the frustrations set in, I recall to memory the promises spoken in my spirit to me that are from God and His Word.
These are verses from Psalm 119, but speak them aloud because they are also prayers to God.
Lord,
Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from thy law. (Psalm 119:18)
My soul weeps because of grief; strengthen me according to Thy word. (Psalm 119:28)
Give me understanding, that I may observe thy law, and keep it with all my heart. (Psalm 119:34)
Teach me good discernment and knowledge, for I believe in Thy commandments. (Psalm 119: 66)
Thy Word is a Lamp unto my Feet and a Light unto my Path. (Psalm 119:105)
Thou art my hiding place and my shield; I wait for Thy word. (Psalm 119:114)
I am thy servant; give me understanding, that I may know Thy testimonies. (Psalm 119:125)
Establish my footsteps in Thy word, and do not let any iniquity have dominion over me. (Psalm 199:133)
Redeem me from the oppression of man, that I may keep Thy precepts. (Psalm 119:134)
Let my cry come before Thee, give me understanding according to Thy word. (Psalm 119:169)
